Reconciling Myself to Death

My hypochondria grows worse as I age and gives me many opportunities to reconcile myself to my death. 

But like everyone else, I also think death will never happen to me. 

O happy illusion, serving its function of keeping us in love with life! 

This is the primal love, and what a marvelous thing to be in love with, this florescence! 

How awe inspiring, gobsmacking it is! 

The wonder of our very presence on this planet! 

What an impossible, miraculous thing this is, this everything right, exactly as it should be, for us to be here, alive, and happy to be so. 

Is not life itself the greatest of gifts? 

Every creature that breathes, without knowing knows it as it swerves and hurries away from whatever endangers it.

This is the see-saw: love life some days, want to exit it at others. 

When I love it, if I love it and not hate it as I did the other night in the throes of suffering, I honor it. 

Like now.