Had
been very nervous and unable to settle into anything lately and yesterday, for
the first time in a long time, settled into rest, knitting the cockatoo scarf,
completing it, and one wrist warmer. When I lay down for a nap yesterday I
couldn’t at first settle down and then suddenly fell – no, plummeted – “into
insignificance.” That was the phrase that surfaced before I sunk down deep into
a marvelous state of rest. There’s so much comfort in being insignificance.
Here are the definitions of significant (somehow, when I can’t do much and am not
feeling particularly creative, definitions get me going): having or expressing
a meaning; meaningful; important; notable; valuable.
I think most of our problems stem from wanting significance or feeling we don't have it. To whirl away down to zero is our greatest fear but what if we embraced this fear, gave ourselves up to it (as we must do at the final moments of life), sink into it right now, be nothing, not important, utterly dispensable, totally unimportant in the vaster scheme of things, what then?
Why, then, a deep rest. Sweetness. Play. Joy.
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