Sunday 2 February 2014

I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME WHINE, or SPACE


FEBRUARY 2014

The entry from my journal this morning. I thought it might be of interest because I am generally so positive. There is no getting around the gripe!

This month has begun on a whiny note. After a very busy January, in which I longed for free time, I fall into a depression and sickness as soon as I have it. I don’t know whether I am sick or not, but the lungs feel weaker as does the digestion. The brain, especially, is slow, reluctant, sluggish. It is Sunday, after all, and I should just stay in bed, where I am at this moment, and rest, but I am incapable of resting or feeling restful. Perhaps as the day progresses I will feel motivated enough to begin puttering. Now I can only putter with words, and not very well at that. But I do want to hammer away a bit, to placate my conscience that has wanted to resume this activity. Haven’t blogged, either. As soon as the busy-ness stopped, a host of demons waiting in the wings swooped down upon my soul.
I think part of the problem is that I am not focused on any particular project and haven’t been for a while. I really should give myself some space. Yes, that feels right. Lots of space. Yes, let me sit with it. Sit the whole day with, in, space. Space is peace. 

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