There’s
excitement and peace in my heart this morning, a thrilling at the sight of my
messy study, waiting to be tidied up, the books put away. The colors return to
my soul as it turns upon the axis of the earth, and the wet, soggy monsoon
turns to warm, brilliant sunshine upon the trees and the water. I feel gloriously
returned to matter, this, here, now, life in all its immanent materiality and
presence. I have left the house in my brain and returned to my body and my
senses. Yes, this feels right. Not ‘I think’ but ‘I feel.’ I feel therefore I
am. And this is what my depression did: it expelled me from thinking about life
into living it.
Only
as much thought as is needed to survive. Not survive through thought but
survive through the heart, the body, and all its pulses.
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