GLORIOUS NARCISSISM

I talk about myself ceaselessly in these posts. Call it narcism, if you must, but I know no topic better than myself, and even this, inadequately.

WHY SHOP WHEN YOU HAVE EVERYTHING?

This has been a dilemma. I don't really need to buy anything, but I still need to shop because of the reasons I mentioned in the previous post. Shopping for new things reaffirms life and keeps the economy going (my excuse whenever Payson says, shopping again?). I have found a solution. For every new thing I buy I give one away. This is easier done in India where there are so many people you can give things away to, but in the US, too, there are many ways to recycle. So, here's another justification: SHOPPING = GENEROSITY +COMPASSION+SHARING!

TO DISSIPATE DEPRESSION #2. RENEWING OURSELVES IN SPRING

GO SHOPPING! Honestly, some people might think this is a woman's thing, but  trading, buying, selling is a human thing. We are the only species that does it. And if one doesn't do it compulsively -- and it's easy to fall into that if one is not careful -- it is a joyous thing! Important phases of my life are always heralded by a shopping spree -- not exorbitant, but like yesterday, just $150 of summer clothes. I have been in a strange limbo for many weeks now, not sleeping well, or knowing what was going on,  but just a general sense of malaise, not feeling my usual self, not sick enough to rest or well enough to do my doing, but yesterday, thanks to another of my 'vices' of which I shall perhaps speak shortly, and the shopping, I have understood what is going on and am happy today.

I am nearing the finishing of my book, just a few more strokes, and a huge vacuum is opening up in my days and I need to shift gears, which is always a difficult thing, since inertia keeps one going in the same direction, stuck in a groove, sometimes an abyss. It is the hardest thing to change gears because we are creatures of habit, which, in the best of times, is a good thing for it gives structure to our days, and structure is security and productivity. But often it becomes necessary, perhaps essential, to change directions. When writing is your whole life and you have been doing if for a long stretch, to be left without it leaves you wheeling about directionless in space. It depresses me, makes me fall sick, and I know that it can also kill me.

So, shopping, preceded by that other wise I mentioned of which I may perhaps speak later, has put it in a wonderful space. My other life has opened up. When I am in a writing phase -- which is most of the time -- I wear the same clothes over and over again, resent social activities and household chores, neglect the garden. Now all the latter things have begun to bloom. I am wearing new clothes this morning, we are going to a new place to walk today, and there is a general newness in the air. NEWNESS. My body and brain become hungry for it and I have to feed them this newness. Even in my walk yesterday I took new paths, wandered down allies never seen before, noticed trees suddenly visible in their blooming beauty. Unless we renew ourselves in spring like the earth, there is danger of falling into depression.  

TO DISSIPATE DEPRESSION

WALK! Get out of the house, without ceremony, in your walking shoes, and walk the neighborhood wherever you are. It shifts the energy in body and brain, moves it around, distributes it evenly, for what is depression but stuck energy? Even better than yoga sometimes, which requires -- for me, at least -- that you be indoors. Spring has sprung and there's no better time to be outdoors. Don't let anything deter you . . . it is a rainy, grey day today here in Del Mar in Southern California, but the walk has started off my day, albeit slowly, reluctantly. It is a great day for lying about, in bed, even, reading.

ARMPIT SOUP

Sounds yukky? I loved the smell of my father's armpits when I was a child. My cats would sniff my armpits, too. Parsnips smell and taste like armpits, and I love them. So, if you like parsnips, here's a recipe. If you don't, then you can still make a delicious soup with the rest of the ingredients.

I take that back: I don't have a recipe, recipe per se but a general formula for soups in general (I feel like repeating myself this morning), a sort of basic formula for all my soups and stews, which I am told, turn out rather delicious. I'm not big on measurements and work with an inner sense, which is this: cut up parsnips, yams, zucchinis, carrots (equals amounts, if you prefer. I work with what I have). You can add an apple to it, too, and certainly the other three basics -- onion or leeks, ginger (as much or as little as your like), and garlic (I skip this because I can't digest it, but Payson loves it). Dump into a pot full of water, just enough to cover the veges, or more, if you like more broth, which I do. I'm a big fan of BETTER THAN BOUILLON (chicken or vegetable), and add a heaping table spoon of it to the mixture. When the veges are cooked, I blend it all together. If you're not counting calories, you can add cream to it, and yum, pumpkin seeds.  

TASKS DU JOUR

Woke up tired this morning from not being yesterday all day yesterday from having gone to LA on the 3^rd for the Stravinsky concert  and the reading at the Shivananda ashram to a sink full of dishes and uncut veges from the soup I had intended to make yesterday but didn’t have the energy for. I was first inclined to move away from the kitchen but realized that this was my task of the day. The soup is cooking, the dishes and table clean, and it is a good feeling. May I always be ready to take on whole heartedly the tasks presented to me during my days. 

MAN'S SEARCH FOR MEANING, VIKTOR FRANKL

As you can see, I'm still mulling over this book. I had an opportunity to refer to it again last night. I had driven up with Payson to LA yesterday to hear Gustavo Daudamel's FIREBIRD (Stravinsky): AWESOME, and for a Sat Sang at the Shivananda Ashram where they had invited me to read two stories about Shiva (it being Shivratri) from my GANESHA GOES TO LUNCH book. One of them, SEE HIM IN THE DARK, brought up the issue of how we can see God in the demonic and ugly. A lot of people had a hard time with it. Richard said how can you see God in the holocaust?I was reminded of Frankl's book again. This man is not just talking, he has experienced the death camps in all their horror. He says, "If there is a meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering in an ineradicable part of life, even as fate and death. without suffering and death human life cannot be complete."

He goes on to say "the way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity -- even under the most difficult circumstances -- to add a deeper meaning to his life."

I will talk about this some more. But do read the book for yourself. It gives you a tremendous insight into human nature and is ultimately a hopeful book.