Was
going about my morning in a slow and sluggish way and then I thought, I’ll take
the day off! And the thought and resolution infused me with joy! I went out in
the garden, cleaned the bird feed trough and filled it and the hanger with bird
feed. I had seen a dove clinging desperately to the all too small hanger in the
rain (we’ve had it for two days, though California is still in a drought), and
knew I had to refill it today. Part of my taking the day off will be gardening.
What
does my day off look like? I do what I want to do and have no compulsion to
work on any of my projects. Yesterday I dumped all the 6 parts of MALINI IN
WHIRLWOOD together in one document and paginated it (such a pain, with very
frequent goof ups on the part of the computer), and have given myself the whole
month of March to putter with it and to putter. For the first time in months
and months I went to the bead store in Solana Beach and bought myself some
supplies: mainly two three strand clasps, and I’m making my first three strand
necklace with rhodocrosite and rubies with gold filled 26 gauge wire. It’s
beautiful, though my pieces lack finesse. Right now I’m stopping journaling in
mid thought to do some yoga with P, who turns 70 this month.
~
LATER:
We
were going to sit and drink in the music room, P his coffee, me my chai, when I
said, looking at the sunshine flooding the lower garden, let’s sit outside! I
had wanted to go to the beach, but this felt perfect. Soon, after luxuriating
in sunshine, watching the emerald and ruby hummers feeding from the orange
blossoms and cape honeysuckle, we admired the arrangement of succulents on the
shelves that Jorge built last year, we got into doing, trimming and shaping
our bonsais. It was utter delight, and I felt again that vibration I have been
feeling lately (alternating with a very dark night of the soul in the middle of
each night) that places me right in the center of the harmony of existence,
where no place in the entire universe is better than here, now. Everything felt
so right, us, the doing, the beauty, the loveliness of the trees. I worked in
the garden for two hours, cleaning and weeding, and then got tired and came in
to feed the orchid I bought for P for Valentine’s, trim off the dying stalks,
and then play a few games of backgammon to relax my back and then make myself that
rare cup of coffee that I can only have and digest when the body clearly asks
for it. And then I have to not think about calories and have it the way I love
it: creamy and sweetened with honey.
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